they break the chain of seeking a sense of OK-ness externally.
For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…
The fact is: If a guy is profoundly obnoxious or terrible after a breakup, it is most often a testament to how rough the breakup was on him. MORE: 5 Things Every Girl Needs to Know About Guys Jerry Seinfeld once said that breaking up a relationship needs to be like taking off a Band-aid – One motion: OFF!
In the same regard, when a relationship ends, it is much much harder for a guy to go back and discuss and revisit and talk through and explain, etc. MORE: 5 Hidden Signs Your Ex Still Loves You (Even If He Says He Doesn’t) In fact, guys like to keep their emotional spectrum focused on a tight range of emotions – somewhere between amusement and contentedness.
I think it’s more that they wouldn’t even know how or where to begin… but if I could go back and tell my 15-year-old self a piece of advice about breakups, it would be, “If you get dumped, just move on right away.
all they feel is suffering and they want it to end. and honestly, I think all of us, man and woman, have been there at one time or another. It doesn’t mean anything about you, your worth, your attractiveness, your value, etc.
MORE: 15 Undeniable Signs You Aren’t Over Your Ex It seems innocent enough, but over time the guy begins to starve for whatever it was he got from the things he gave up.
It’s painful because it’s a belief that something that is impossible is could be possible…
So any interaction that a guy knows will bring him out of that sweet range of emotions is an interaction he’s going to do everything he can to avoid.
Personally, I have had breakups where I pretty much went cold. I wanted her to be OK, I wanted good things for her in life, but I knew that nothing was going to make the situation better.
A guy once told me that, “A man is devastated at the end of a relationship to the extent to which he sold himself out.” What does it mean for a guy to sell himself out (in the context of a relationship)?
Every guy has a set of core values for who he is, what he stands for, and what he really wants out of life.
It’s not uncommon for people, men or women, to derive their sense of well-being, self-worth, and self-esteem from how other people treat them.