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But hey, that’s cold comfort when women are putting “six feet tall, minimum” in their dating profiles and your friends all call you “Short Round”.

The thing is, as with many other masculine insecurities, this is predominantly in our heads. Worse, I’m the shortest of all my friends who range from 5’1o” on the short side, to 6’7″ on the tall side.

Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale: they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements and experience way more behavioral problems than children who grow up with married parents.

You might not be the FIRST man she blames all her problems on, but you sure as hell can be NEXT. On the whole, give single and divorced mothers a pass. Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys. The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a father.

And for the love of god, if you decide to give one a spin, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD. To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel. You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more.

You can pick up a heroin addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank or decide to write the great American novel financing yourself on your credit cards. You can go to rehab, get your GED, get parole, and pay off those cards. A modern man doesn’t turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of men would like to see a NEW sign on her uterus. When a man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random babydaddy who was there before him. A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness. But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife. Oh, that’s the story she’ll spin for you, because really, what women is going to sit there and say “I’m an unbearably controlling and irrational cunt who made my husband’s life such hell he decided he would rather be a weekend Dad than spend one more second with me”. What kind of delusional self-image does a woman have, if she can fall for a con artist with a gambling habit that would shame Charlie Sheen?

But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring. A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife. Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life. When you meet a divorced single mother, immediately start looking for the flaw. Something that drove another man to pledge his undying love to her, to have and to hold, from this day forth, and then sometime later decide “fuck this shit. Be very cautious around a woman who takes none of the blame for her failed marriage.

If you’re not 6 feet tall or taller, then you may as well just resign yourself to a sexless life of Napoleon jokes.

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