Things have been going well, and I give a lot of credit to what I have learned from your book, emails and this site.
However, this is not something I have ever done before and I am having a hard time with the idea of juggling.
Last month, I wrote to two men that I was very interested in.
The good news is that both of them wrote me back and I have been seeing both for the past 2-3 weeks.
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You weigh your pros and cons, you do your cost-benefit analysis, you use a little logic and a little emotion, and then make a largely arbitrary choice without knowing if you’re right.
As it turns out, I met a third woman, who was so incredible that I immediately emailed the other two, broke things off, and took my profile down to commit. Let’s say Bachelor #2 turns out to be a great guy…who admits after two months that although he was excited about you, he’s on the rebound, not emotionally over his ex-girlfriend and is not fit to be your partner at this point in time. So please come back and let us know if I retroactively steered you in the right direction, okay? Everywhere you went you just magically kept finding great women who were into you and wanted to date you!
Naturally, it took the third woman about two weeks to feel comfortable committing to me, but she eventually did. Yes, you’re dating two men, but that doesn’t mean that these are the only two men on the planet. You had the leisure of committing to someone before they committed to you because you always just assumed that so many women wanted to be with you that you could always get what you wanted.
I recall one time that I was dating two women simultaneously for about a month. My ambivalence was a feeling, more than a logical choice. You may not know the front-runner for the open position of “boyfriend”, but since you’re the CEO of Maggie, Inc, you’re going to take your sweet time to see how the interns perform in a limited capacity. In general, I think this is the best policy, because it’s a clear dividing line that any man can understand.
Both were cute, smart, cool, late 20’s, Jewish, and interested in me. Which is why I kept looking around on JDate for that entire month that I was seeing both of them. The faster they follow up, the more work they choose to take on, the quality of their performance – all will start to differentiate these two men to make your decision a lot easier. “I only sleep with boyfriends, and until we figure out if an exclusive relationship is the right course of action for both of us, we’re gonna have to just stick with some incredible foreplay!
And while I was hooking up with (not sleeping with) both of them, something didn’t feel right. One woman even called me on it – “How dare you get online after our great date? It was my right to look for other women if I didn’t feel I could commit to her. You’ve never heard of a woman standing on the altar with two men, have you? ” Only you can determine whether you can have sex with two guys simultaneously without a commitment to either of them. Either you will get attached or THEY will get attached – and since you haven’t figured out your feelings yet, I would think that attachment is something you’d want to avoid.